I get it. It’s normal to have conflicts with your friends and family from time to time. You might say things that you regret and feelings might become hurt. But, at what point, is someone toxic to you? When does the question of whether this is a simple disagreement or whether this is a toxic relationship come into play? How can you tell the difference between fake love and true love?
I could just start quoting 1 Corinthians chapter 13 where the Bible says that “Love is patient, kind, etc” and while I feel like that is great food for thought, how are you supposed to apply that to real life?
Names will not be mentioned as I feel there’s a fine line between using your experiences to help others and putting your business out there. However, I’m sure you will still get the basic idea.
Like most people my age, I still have contact with my childhood friends. Some are near and dear to my heart and some I have drifted away from. Unfortunately, I grew to trust someone who I shouldn’t have and now this “friend” is dragging my name through the mud. Granted, I feel this happens to most people in life, but how do you move on? How do you make sure you still have your reputation? How do you respond to this fake love?
I have the simple answer, but it’s harder than it seems. The answer is….If someone wants to walk away from you, let them go. If they’re using their bitterness toward you to fuel their spiteful actions, don’t let it get to you. Try to be as distant as possible. I know it’s so hard because you feel the need to defend yourself, but guess what? The people who are your real friends and family, the people who exemplify true love will stand by your side.
I once saw a clip from Madea (A fictional character played by Tyler Perry) that said something along the following lines that I feel rings true to the point of this post: “You see, you are like a tree. Some of your friends are leaves. They’re with you for a short while but then fall away from you when you don’t need them. Some are like branches. They’re sturdy but break under enough pressure and force. Others are like roots….they provide what you need and they give you strength. If you can find the roots in your life, hold on to them, but let the leaves and branches fall because you will be better off.”
When you see that what you thought was a rose turn out to be a thorn, hold on to your self-worth and dignity. Be a root to other trees and help them through struggles that you went through. At the end of the day, let the fake love roll off of your shoulders and cherish the ones who give you the true love that you deserve.