When Mother’s Day Is Filled With Sorrow…

….It hurts.

When you think of Mother’s Day, it causes emotions for everybody. You might call your mom and tell her how much you love and appreciate her and it might be a day filled with joy. On the contrary, this day might be a day filled with sorrow if your mother has passed away. If that’s what this holiday is for you, please accept my deepest sympathy. If you’re a woman who has suffered the pain of losing a child and/or is dealing with infertility, my heart goes out to you as well.

While Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate your mom, I don’t feel like people pay attention to the child’s view of what this day means to them. What about the children who are in foster care or are adopted? What about the children in orphanages? What about the children who have parents, but don’t have a healthy example of what a mother is? What does this day look like for them?

I’m here to tell you that YOU ARE LOVED and that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! As hard as it is to realize that, I assure you that other people have gone through similar walks of life and can empathize with your pain. I praise God that I found my example of that and I pray that you do as well.

To the child in foster care…

I can’t imagine how hard it must be to bounce from home to home and not have the stability of having the same parents. I understand that it’s a very touchy subject, but if you are one of the children who is being abused in your foster home, please reach out for help. Any adult at school or a religious leader would be a great place to start. I know that it will be very difficult to ask for help, but please know that your situation is not your fault and that you deserve to have a beautiful and fulfilling life. If you’re someone who was blessed by your foster parents in terms of having support and love, then I rejoice with you on this day and hope that you continue to have peace and joy in your life.

To the child that is adopted…

Isn’t it amazing how your mom loves you as if you were her own biological child? I understand that you might resent your biological parents for giving you up, but please understand that your mom and/or dad most likely did it out of love. They recognized that you deserved a life that they felt like they couldn’t provide so they gave you to somebody that they knew could. If your mom or both your mom and dad gave you up simply because you weren’t wanted, then I can understand how you are hurt by that. However, you ended up with (a) wonderful parent(s) who love you more than you could know and I encourage you to seek comfort in that.

To the child who is in an orphanage….

Wow. I can’t fathom the pain and difficulty that comes with waiting for a loving home. I don’t really know what to say because I haven’t ever seen an orphanage or have known someone from one, but as difficult as it is, please have faith in whatever God you believe in that you will one day have a family. While you might, unfortunately, age out of the system, please know that you can build a healthy life for yourself. It will take lots of hard work and dedication, but use your circumstances as motivation to keep moving forward.

To the child who has been abused…

I’ve been there and I understand that it takes years to move past the pain and bitterness that abuse causes in your heart (I’m still not completely there). For me personally, it was my biological father that abused me and I used to hate my mom for having a baby (me) with him! Please know that while you can’t change the past, things will get better for you. When you are ready to, I encourage you to use your pain and experiences to help people going through what you did because the support that I found while I was going through my years of being abused is what kept me sane.

To the child that is feeling unloved in their own home…

…That’s my life right now. My parents aren’t abusive but I don’t feel like they’re good emotional support. However, I think that I just think about and go about life in such a different way than they do that it causes tension and failing expectations. This, in turn, results in unnecessary drama and bitterness. As hard as it is to do, be the bigger person and do what you need to do to not add fuel to the fire.

No matter what your story is, if Mother’s Day is a difficult and depressing day for you, I encourage you to seek advice and comfort from people who have gone through similar struggles. If you’re religious, turn to God (which I will admit is something that I need to work on) and try to flip the negative into a positive. For me, that would be that I have learned, very early on, how I DO NOT want to parent my future children. Your story is not wasted and you are not worthless. When you’re sobbing late at night because you’re feeling helpless and catch a glimpse in the mirror and wonder how it got to this point…please understand that while you’re feeling like you’re about to snap and lose your mind, the love of God, which you have received by pure grace will comfort you if you ask for it. You might ask, “If this thing called God is so loving and graceful, then why does pain and sorrow even exist in the first place?” Well, the world wasn’t supposed to be this way, but when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, the path that the human race was supposed to walk changed dramatically. That instance changed the life of humanity for eternity and therefore, we live in a “fallen world” so to speak. Even though that sounds tragic, please remember that, if you are a believer in the Lord, you are saved by grace and not by works. Even if you’re not religious, your story is not wasted, but rather a testimony of triumph when you overcome the struggles that come with the emotions and circumstances that write your story.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “When Mother’s Day Is Filled With Sorrow…”

  1. Hi there would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m having a hard time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S My apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

    Like

    1. Hello! I am using WordPress and I absolutely love it! I’m on my smartphone right now, but when I get home, I’ll get on my computer and let you know how I added pictures and a color border to my site. Thank you!

      Like

    2. Okay! Now that I’m on my computer (I’m so sorry that I didn’t see your comment sooner! For some reason, it went into my spam folder) I can tell you how to customize your blog if you decide to start one using WordPress.
      1) Find where it says, “Themes” on the left-hand side of your screen.
      2) Click “Customize”
      3) Pick which color you would like as a border from the drop-down menu in addition to any featured images.
      4) Enjoy!

      I hope that helps and please feel free to ask any other questions that you may have.

      Like

  2. This was such a beautiful insightful writing. Though you said you haven’t really found God yet, he has found you and is holding you in his hands. You are a very mature person, and God is using you to share hope and peace for others. You have such a potential to help other with your words, or go into a field of social work. Whatever you do, do not give up, or give in to the abuse. As you have advised others, you can turn to someone to help you also. Get involved in a church family. These people can become more family to you sometimes than your biological family, and they can be there to just listen if nothing else. Sometimes we all just need someone to share our burdens with, and God does provide. Just trust Him. Blessing to you, and thank you for sharing this with me.

    Like

    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement! I certainly understand the value of chosen family and the people that have become a part of that group which comes from friends that I’ve made and church have been nothing short of amazing.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s